Thursday, July 21, 2005

Bringing the Crack to the Ghetto - I'm Racist

Posted By: Super Racist “Nothing Can Kill the Grimace”. This article does not reflect the opinions of the other members of RevolutionToday. Everyone should hate this guy because he’s jerk and has no friends.


Numerous rap artists often talk about this conspiracy that the government is shipping crack to the Ghettoes. Many people scoff at this claim but with the governments ties to drug producing countries such as Columbia it seems entirely viable. But I say why not ship crack to the ghettoes? These people come to our country seeking Jobs and opportunities for success but they give nothing back to the white overlords who have let these people into our country. They feed off our welfare system and our citizens charity giving nothing back but cheap labor that isn’t worth enough to keep their children from becoming criminals.

Now we can’t have these disenfranchised minorities organized because they would seek to greater leach the wealth and comfort from the already situated white majority. So we the white race will do what we have always done when other ethnicities who refuse to benefit our economy, get them hooked on drugs, and we damn well should. They think they can just come to this country and prosper without giving back to the white overlords who made it possible. If they wont willingly participate in our economic train that we have made to feed the rich over class then they should be forced to. And if the only way to make these ungrateful impoverished minorities feed the system is through extortion then by all means we should extort. The system of extortion works great to cause we get both the money we make legitimate money that does not need to be laundered on the fines that we charge the abusers.

This also helps us take care of artists who also do not feed the system. They make money by marketing their own creative abilities and thus undermine the factories who produce some of the same types of products but like the grandeur of an artists name and also the grace and beauty of a true artists work. But these artists are quickly dealt with through drug addiction which drains their money and (if need be) makes their death understandable.

These people come to our country seeking a better life and then they complain when they get addicted to drugs. But they can’t really expect to come to our country and get out with our money. Drugs keep everyone inline from the artists to the minorities and they even take money from the opposition political parties who have to waste money paying for public service TV spots that will be laughed at around the country.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Dinosaurs - Society's Old Big Lizards

Dinosaurs are the greatest creatures on the face of the earth (except for men, of course. Not women, just men). I say ‘are’ rather than ‘were’ because dinosaurs still exist on our planet today. The propagandists of the most evil profession ever (paleontology) want you to believe the myth of their non-existence so that they can support their favorite politicians. The reasoning behind this is confusing and pointless unless you accept a world where “people throw ducks at balloons and nothing is the way it seems.”

Fatcats. You have often heard this phrase describing Washington politicians, but what does it mean? A little known fact about all politicians is that every politician owns a cat. And the success of that politician depends on the fatness of his/her(ya right) cat. As bizarre as this seems, it’s also completely untrue, but we must choose to accept this blasphemous lie because it ties in with the rest of the article.

Major politicians such as Presidents and cult leaders hold in their house, the secret to their success: cats beyond the fatitude that normal humans can even comprehend. These cats are so massive, their gravitational fields pull support from the people to the politicians. But what is the secret to gaining such girth of the belly? That’s what this article’s about.

The official food of Fatcats (the cats, not the people) is of course, dinosaurs. While dinosaurs are not extinct, their population is very limited. To keep the public from buying all the dinosaurs, leaving the politicians Fatcat-less, the politicians used their power of God to create evidence of dinosaurs’ extinction.

But as the Japanese came closer and closer to discovering the location where the dinosaurs were kept (in a cage in the inner core of the earth surrounded by 12,000 degree Celsius magma), various “natural” (and political) disasters were unleashed upon the short and unsuspecting Japanese. Can anyone say Hiroshima??? Nagasaki??? However, while small and weak physically, the Japanese were also stupid enough to continue their search for the dinosaurs. Eventually, the entire city of Japan had to be destroyed by the politicians most dangerous dinosaur/super being, Godzilla. Japan now exists only on maps and in computers used to brainwash visitors to Japan into thinking they actually visited the land.

Now, in the year of the revolution 2134, we must free the dinosaurs from their cage by building an impenetrable ship to travel to the earth’s core and release the dinosaurs into the Magma so that they can die the most painful death imaginable. Before their bodies are destroyed, we will scoop up the remains so that we may feast upon their innards just like our ancestors did in my imagination. But what to do with the inedible skins?

I suggest building an army of robotic dinosaur skin tanks (because that’s what we do now) to defend against the invasion of the dinosaur home planet of Rethifica (oh, dinosaurs are aliens too). The smaller dinosaur skins would be transformed into various vending machines based on how many scales that dinosaur lost in the battle of 2015 between the Tritacons and Piliphratopes of the dinosaur underworld (ya, dinosaurs have wars in their cage).

If you’d like to help release the dinosaurs from captivity to their freedom of the incredible pain of death, email me at revolution.today@gmail.com, JERKS!

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Classroom Pets, Friend or Fiend?

I am sure that if you think back far enough everyone can remember a loved classroom pet; maybe from elementary school or if your lucky maybe even later. Classroom pets become the focus of the class for kids and teachers alike; everyone wants to feed it, pet it, take it home, name it, play with it, it becomes a “students best friend.” I remember all the pets I have had in school. It began with a silkworm that was eventually ruined into a dumb butterfly, a rabbit, and even a few hamsters like you see on TV. Now those pets are great, they’re either friendly and fuzzy or they make silk, which is a great ability that I wish humans had, but that is for another time.

Now what really shakes my beans is when dumb teachers have a bright idea to get the class a great pet like, lets say a snake! “Oh boy we have a snake now we can watch it do…wait what, all it does is sit?!…Fine we can take it out and play with…. wait we can’t touch it will eat our internal organs?!…Well what does it do?” I’ll tell you what the damn slithery reptile does…NOTHING! What genius teacher thought that a class would love to sit and watch an animal sunbathe in its little heated case that always has to be above 45 degree because the damn thing is such a wimp it’ll die in a cold temperature; for god’s sake it cold-blooded that alone tells you it’s the wimpiest creature on this Earth! Now you might think, “It eats mice it’s awesome!” No not only are you horribly wrong but you should go die you’re so dumb. I don’t care how cool it is watching a cool mouse duke it out and try to escape the wrath of the all wussy snake and eventually get eaten, but we all know that the mouse eventually is turned into feces. Now, snake feces is the second grossest looking and smelling thing on the planet second only to babies. No awesome sight is worth sitting in class smelling snake poo for weeks.

Its not only snakes its also any reptile or amphibian. They serve absolutely no purpose in life so what purpose do they serve in a classroom teaching the children, the so-called “future,” how to suck at everything? The only exception to this absolute fact is a turtle or tortoise. They set the perfect example for kids all they do is sit still never moving and shut their mouths, which is exactly what kids should do. I am all for classroom pets they give children a reason to go to class and best of all a friend that can bully them and insult them like they truly deserve, but something must be done to stop this vast movement of teachers giving the classroom dumb and fiendish pets.

I say a new policy be put in place where reptiles and amphibians, except turtles, tortoises and prehistoric lizards such as dinosaurs, be banned from this Earth. We gather all of them up and cram them into space shuttles; set course for the sun; and let the shuttle launch and then let the sun take it from there. Then in my new age of no dumb classroom pets children will finally be able to live up to their full potentials no longer be held back by the vicious wussy restraints of dumb classroom pets. If you support this part of the revolution email me at ghost.of.christmas.never@gmail.com.

Monday, July 18, 2005

Senior Citizens- the pain in society's ass

Before I continue writing, I would like all to know that I am not a direct supporter of mass murder, or any form of murder closely resembling genocide, having said that, I hate old people. I would like you to try and recall the last time you went driving, and were almost run off the road by a senior citizen who should be considered legally blind, and who has as much trouble operating a microwave oven, let alone a 3 ton automobile. Lets face it, when an 80 year old woman with alzheimer's and a urinary tract infection gets behind the wheel of her 3 ton 60's Cadillac, and when she's in a rush to catch the night owl dinner special at 4 in the afternoon at her favorite senior restaurant, when she has to rush to get to a bathroom because her bladder is the size of a walnut, that woman can easily be considered one of the most dangerous people you're likely to find anywhere, on par with a suicide bomber or crazed student made suicidal by years of hilarious bullying.

Seniors do nothing to help our society, all they do is consume and complain to the young hard working men and women who run this country. They smell, they're not pleasant to look at, and the prospect of encroaching death tends to make them somewhat insane. Sure there are those who disagree, saying that they've provided the free world we live in today, but they also embody many of the outdated and restricting ideas that modern day society has deemed to be pointless and often, offensive. When was the last time you met an enlightened senior? Never. Also, some backwards, misinformed minds would claim seniors to be wise and valuable to society's pool of knowledge. However, who discovers this information? The modern day youth educated in an enlightened classroom. And once that information is made known to all, the senior has become useless weight that our society cannot afford to carry if progress is expected. Therefore I shall propose 2 very easy solutions that I hope we can soon adopt.

Concentration Camps. This plan is the easier and more productive of the two. However, it would involve a large number of concentration camps where seniors would work until they die, doing the mundane and tiresome busywork, so that you won't have to. Then upon death, they would be put into some sort of massive blender or chopping device that would liquefy their bodies, harnessing the little nutrients their bodies hold. This soup of old people would then be used to feed and fatten animals such as cows, chicken, pigs, and all the other tasty animals that feed us everyday.
If this solution seems too drastic or cruel, then I offer one other solution.

A Separate State for Seniors. My second plan, calls for a separate nation specifically created for the occupation of senior citizens. I propose that the United States use its military ability to lead the way in creating this state, by completely emptying a country such as Iraq, Iran, or Afghanistan through nuclear annihilation. This country would then be filled with the seniors that hinder the ambitious countries all over the world. Here they can live out their lives in the radioactive deserts of one of these middle-eastern nations.

After reading this, I'm sure you are thinking:"But what will happen to me when I get old?". But then I must ask you, what is more important? Comfortable twilight years? Or a progressive and successful nation that you helped build in your sacrifice? In my opinion, one becomes a true senior at the age of 75, or once they begin to exhibit the truly degenerative symptoms of old age. In addition, with the tremendous advancements in technology seen everyday, old age symptoms will be pushed farther and farther back as the human lifespan is prolonged by new medicines. I hope you have enjoyed these solutions, and deeply consider them for the near future as we lead the crusade on ridding the world of one of its biggest problems today: cantankerous geezers pushing our society backwards. If you'd like to support this part of the revolution, e-mail me at thefainting.goat@gmail.com. Say goodbye to your grandparents and get ready for the liquidation.

Abortion's Great - but not if used in moderation

We all hate babies, that’s a fact. They’re stupid, they smell, and they provide nothing to the fabric of society. We’ve all had that time where a baby has ruined everything God has created in this world, but when was the last time a baby did your taxes for you, or wrote a Pulitzer prize winning novel. That’s right, NEVER.

The worst thing about babies is that their parents always bring them out in public. The worst place of all, an airplane. When you’re on a plane with a baby, there’s nothing you can do about it. You can’t kick it out into the ocean, or throw it in a dumpster, you just have to suppress your rage to kill it. Just the other day I was on a plane with a baby in the seat behind me. This one wasn’t doing the usual baby thing of just crying and yelling, this one took a massive crap. You might think, so what, it was wearing a diaper, but this baby exploded its diaper. It took such a colossal crap that it actually forced the poo out through a hole in its diaper and onto the seat behind me. It even managed to find a way to get the poo all the way to the top of its head.
But what can we do about it? I propose two very simple, and very appealing plans.

Mandatory abortion. This plan is by far my favorite of the two. All babies will be brutally slaughtered before being born. This quickly solves the problem, leaving the world baby-less and much happier because of it. However, there’s one small downside to this plan, the loss of the human-race. Now, that may not seem like such a big deal, but I’m sort of a fan of humans, but not if that means I have to endure babies crying and pooping everywhere they go. Thus, I present my second solution, a compromise.

Solitary confinement. Babies will be allowed to be born, but will immediately be put in confinement with other babies. Robots would be created to feed and change the babies, as well as administering the daily electrocution. Babies would be given this electric shock to develop a fear of showing their baby emotions later in life such as crying. Women may also be admitted into this program should the need arise.

There you have it. An easy solution to the biggest problem facing the world today: babies existing. If you’d like to support this part of the revolution, email me at revolution.today@gmail.com and prepare for the baby killing.

What this site's about

Hey jerks. This site is just a place where I tell you whats wrong with society and how we should fix it. I know there's probably about two people in the world that would agree with anything I say so for all you jerks who disagree, send all ur hatemail to revolution.today@gmail.com. I'll answer any of your questions in a way that makes you seem like a jerk (because you are). Be sure to check out past articles and pictures that will make you feel even more inadequate than you already know you are.